a relatively new topic that seems to be gaining steam...has the church become too girly for men?
got some great insights from a friend: Matt Frey's Blog
Monday, August 31, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
summarizing the challenges young men face today
worked further on the challenges that young men face in our culture today. summarized into this thesis:
young men in our culture have a weak foundation or no foundation at all that allows them to be discerning and wise.
the problem summed up into one word: CONFUSION.
the 3 areas in the last post could be categorized under this confusion. young men in our culture are confused about:
1. IDENTITY
2. PURITY
3. AUTHORITY
the last of these challenges is ultimately the reason for all the confusion, as i already explained in the last post...because there is no emphasis on the authority of God's Word young men will be progressively more confused over issues of identity, purity, authority and more...
and therefore they have a weak foundation or no foundation at all for being discerning and wise!
young men in our culture have a weak foundation or no foundation at all that allows them to be discerning and wise.
the problem summed up into one word: CONFUSION.
the 3 areas in the last post could be categorized under this confusion. young men in our culture are confused about:
1. IDENTITY
2. PURITY
3. AUTHORITY
the last of these challenges is ultimately the reason for all the confusion, as i already explained in the last post...because there is no emphasis on the authority of God's Word young men will be progressively more confused over issues of identity, purity, authority and more...
and therefore they have a weak foundation or no foundation at all for being discerning and wise!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
challenges young men face in our culture today
speaking at a men's breakfast at our church on saturday morning @ the challenges that youth face today and how they can help them.
interesting topic that could be extremely broad...so i think i'll choose to focus primarily on young men. what are the challenges that young men face today in our culture and how can the older men of our churches reach out and help?
so let me attempt to summarize the biggest challenges young men (specifically teenagers) face in our culture today:
1. IDENTITY :: a multifaceted challenge, but probably can all be tied to the confusion of a man's role in society...which specifically has led to the muddied understandings about work and relationships.
let me expound for a minute on what i'm trying to communicate here:
a. work. simply stated, guys don't know how to work hard because our culture has taught us to look for the greatest return for the least amount of work. not that we had to learn it from our culture...our culture has just played to our immature and selfish tendencies and given us the green light to act upon them and align our expectations with them. as a result we've lost an appreciation for the Law of Sowing & Reaping (that you will reap what you sow). in fact, it's often seen in an individual's mindset that it is totally unfair that he would ever have to experience consequences for his actions. we have a gimme mindset that's offended by those who would require us to work for it. (i see a similar attitude in "junior" who throws a tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants or when he's forced into "time out" when he goes against what he's told) as a result, our culture is experiencing an identity crises because we have men acting like little boys, which is also complicated by...
b. relationships. call it what you want ("feminism", "liberalism" or whatever!), but let's face it, our culture and society is confusing men as to what their roles are as men. whether it's in the work place, in the home or wherever men have trouble finding their place. it is no longer an issue of women just tired of men not stepping up to be men and therefore filling the void...it is now the agenda of many to promote and propagate the idea to the level of common sense that there is no difference between men and women (other than a few anatomical difference...but even that can be addressed). so what's the role of a man in the work place? or what's his role in the family?
now let me say, that i understand that this is not the commonly held view among all...and it may just be the voices that ring out the loudest. but i don't believe it can be denied that this thinking at least has an impacting effect on our concept of what it means to be a man today. just ask your pastor to preach on submission in the home...just the mention of the subject and you'll feel the tension stronger than electrically charged bumper cars (and men start to look at the floor)!
and one more factor that contributes to the confusion of relationships as a guy: it's tough knowing how a man is supposed to have a relationship with another man. stop!! read that sentence again. did you bristle at all at how i formed that sentence? can i just say that that's exactly the point i'm trying to convey here. our culture has made us paranoid as guys about what is "gay" and what is not. just reading a sentence about men having relationships with other men sounds suspicious to us! we're constantly on guard about coming across as gay. we don't want to hug another dude. we don't want to wear tight jeans. we don't want to say, "i love you, man" or any other form of appreciation or affection (even using the word "affection" right there somehow sounds wrong...even though the dictionary's definition deems it appropriate). do you see what i'm trying to say? the outspoken nature of the homosexual community has created a large wake of homophobic activity and responses that impacts how we joke around with anybody or relate to any other guy at all! and again, it's just a factor that muddies the concept of identity as a man.
now i'm not claiming to be an expert at analyzing our culture (i'm certainly no anthropolgist), but i'm a guy making observations about what it means to be a guy in my culture today. and i believe there are other guys that struggle with these issues or are at least effected by them whether they could articulate them or not (or whether they even realize it or not).
identity can be a huge struggle for young men in our culture today.
2. PURITY :: this one can almost go without saying. but our culture's acceptance and accessibility to inappropriate sexual content and activity continues to have a profound impact on young men today. it is especially dangerous for Christian young men, because i have yet to encounter any guy who claims to know the Lord that isn't ashamed of sexual immorality or even "hints" of it. shame and pride can be a extremely dangerous combo. we're ashamed of our struggle, and too prideful to come clean and be held accountable. Satan is smart. he knows that he can get a bunch of Christian guys hooked on stuff who will be afraid to come out, say it and get help. pride and fear of consequences often causes men to miss out on freedom and forgiveness.
let's face it, we're guys. we do NOT have to be overcome by sexual sin and purity issues, but as long as our culture continues to promote impurity and push it in our faces it will be a challenge for young men.
3. AUTHORITY :: what is authority? where does it come from? and how do i respond to it?
or maybe some guys would just simply ask, "why should i listen to you?". those who ask that question may be a little more cynical, and aren't guys supposed to have an issue with authority anyway? (but there i go assuming cultural identity & stereotypes) there's a whole philosophy of thinking that some would label "postmodern" that challenges even the existence of authority...which of course pragmatically breaks down as soon as you are looking for a new job because you tried to explain to your boss that there are no absolutes and therefore rules cannot be expectations.
but i would argue that most young men are a little more sensitive than many would give them credit for, and they're searching for answers. they're really crying out, "who should i listen to?!?!"
and the problem is that there are not enough men telling them to listen to the Word of God.
we've got all sorts of worldviews that are contrary to the Truth of the Bible that are regularly communicated to young men. our education system and the media are constantly bombarding our minds with messages that oppose God's standards and character. and unfortunately, even Christians can be guilty of promoting values and philosophies that are unbiblical at times.
and when God is not the ultimate authority that we WANT & NEED to listen to, we will have problems. we need absolute truth. and that TRUTH is found in God's Word.
here's the deal, in my experience, guys WANT answers! they want help. they want someone to guide them through these challenges that they face. in fact, it's also been my experience, that young men are often the most receptive to listening to the truth found in the Bible. they are at a critical point in their lives. they are beginning to understand that the decisions they make right now will have a drastic effect on the rest of their lives, and because of confusion and simply being naive and unexperienced they are ripe for answers and guidance.
they need a healthy sense of authority...and that authority is an absolute and ultimate Authority who loved them enough to die for their sins to be in a right relationship with them, who cares for them, is in absolute control and wants what is best for them.
the challenge is listening to that Authority.
so there's my stab at summing up some of the challenges that face young Christian men in our culture today. i'm sure there are more, or that someone could sum up better than i...but in either case i hope the Church will commit to reaching these young men and supporting them with love and truth through these challenges to help them grow into mature spiritual leaders capable of passing on the legacy.
sounds like a good discussion...
interesting topic that could be extremely broad...so i think i'll choose to focus primarily on young men. what are the challenges that young men face today in our culture and how can the older men of our churches reach out and help?
so let me attempt to summarize the biggest challenges young men (specifically teenagers) face in our culture today:
1. IDENTITY :: a multifaceted challenge, but probably can all be tied to the confusion of a man's role in society...which specifically has led to the muddied understandings about work and relationships.
let me expound for a minute on what i'm trying to communicate here:
a. work. simply stated, guys don't know how to work hard because our culture has taught us to look for the greatest return for the least amount of work. not that we had to learn it from our culture...our culture has just played to our immature and selfish tendencies and given us the green light to act upon them and align our expectations with them. as a result we've lost an appreciation for the Law of Sowing & Reaping (that you will reap what you sow). in fact, it's often seen in an individual's mindset that it is totally unfair that he would ever have to experience consequences for his actions. we have a gimme mindset that's offended by those who would require us to work for it. (i see a similar attitude in "junior" who throws a tantrum when he doesn't get what he wants or when he's forced into "time out" when he goes against what he's told) as a result, our culture is experiencing an identity crises because we have men acting like little boys, which is also complicated by...
b. relationships. call it what you want ("feminism", "liberalism" or whatever!), but let's face it, our culture and society is confusing men as to what their roles are as men. whether it's in the work place, in the home or wherever men have trouble finding their place. it is no longer an issue of women just tired of men not stepping up to be men and therefore filling the void...it is now the agenda of many to promote and propagate the idea to the level of common sense that there is no difference between men and women (other than a few anatomical difference...but even that can be addressed). so what's the role of a man in the work place? or what's his role in the family?
now let me say, that i understand that this is not the commonly held view among all...and it may just be the voices that ring out the loudest. but i don't believe it can be denied that this thinking at least has an impacting effect on our concept of what it means to be a man today. just ask your pastor to preach on submission in the home...just the mention of the subject and you'll feel the tension stronger than electrically charged bumper cars (and men start to look at the floor)!
and one more factor that contributes to the confusion of relationships as a guy: it's tough knowing how a man is supposed to have a relationship with another man. stop!! read that sentence again. did you bristle at all at how i formed that sentence? can i just say that that's exactly the point i'm trying to convey here. our culture has made us paranoid as guys about what is "gay" and what is not. just reading a sentence about men having relationships with other men sounds suspicious to us! we're constantly on guard about coming across as gay. we don't want to hug another dude. we don't want to wear tight jeans. we don't want to say, "i love you, man" or any other form of appreciation or affection (even using the word "affection" right there somehow sounds wrong...even though the dictionary's definition deems it appropriate). do you see what i'm trying to say? the outspoken nature of the homosexual community has created a large wake of homophobic activity and responses that impacts how we joke around with anybody or relate to any other guy at all! and again, it's just a factor that muddies the concept of identity as a man.
now i'm not claiming to be an expert at analyzing our culture (i'm certainly no anthropolgist), but i'm a guy making observations about what it means to be a guy in my culture today. and i believe there are other guys that struggle with these issues or are at least effected by them whether they could articulate them or not (or whether they even realize it or not).
identity can be a huge struggle for young men in our culture today.
2. PURITY :: this one can almost go without saying. but our culture's acceptance and accessibility to inappropriate sexual content and activity continues to have a profound impact on young men today. it is especially dangerous for Christian young men, because i have yet to encounter any guy who claims to know the Lord that isn't ashamed of sexual immorality or even "hints" of it. shame and pride can be a extremely dangerous combo. we're ashamed of our struggle, and too prideful to come clean and be held accountable. Satan is smart. he knows that he can get a bunch of Christian guys hooked on stuff who will be afraid to come out, say it and get help. pride and fear of consequences often causes men to miss out on freedom and forgiveness.
let's face it, we're guys. we do NOT have to be overcome by sexual sin and purity issues, but as long as our culture continues to promote impurity and push it in our faces it will be a challenge for young men.
3. AUTHORITY :: what is authority? where does it come from? and how do i respond to it?
or maybe some guys would just simply ask, "why should i listen to you?". those who ask that question may be a little more cynical, and aren't guys supposed to have an issue with authority anyway? (but there i go assuming cultural identity & stereotypes) there's a whole philosophy of thinking that some would label "postmodern" that challenges even the existence of authority...which of course pragmatically breaks down as soon as you are looking for a new job because you tried to explain to your boss that there are no absolutes and therefore rules cannot be expectations.
but i would argue that most young men are a little more sensitive than many would give them credit for, and they're searching for answers. they're really crying out, "who should i listen to?!?!"
and the problem is that there are not enough men telling them to listen to the Word of God.
we've got all sorts of worldviews that are contrary to the Truth of the Bible that are regularly communicated to young men. our education system and the media are constantly bombarding our minds with messages that oppose God's standards and character. and unfortunately, even Christians can be guilty of promoting values and philosophies that are unbiblical at times.
and when God is not the ultimate authority that we WANT & NEED to listen to, we will have problems. we need absolute truth. and that TRUTH is found in God's Word.
here's the deal, in my experience, guys WANT answers! they want help. they want someone to guide them through these challenges that they face. in fact, it's also been my experience, that young men are often the most receptive to listening to the truth found in the Bible. they are at a critical point in their lives. they are beginning to understand that the decisions they make right now will have a drastic effect on the rest of their lives, and because of confusion and simply being naive and unexperienced they are ripe for answers and guidance.
they need a healthy sense of authority...and that authority is an absolute and ultimate Authority who loved them enough to die for their sins to be in a right relationship with them, who cares for them, is in absolute control and wants what is best for them.
the challenge is listening to that Authority.
so there's my stab at summing up some of the challenges that face young Christian men in our culture today. i'm sure there are more, or that someone could sum up better than i...but in either case i hope the Church will commit to reaching these young men and supporting them with love and truth through these challenges to help them grow into mature spiritual leaders capable of passing on the legacy.
sounds like a good discussion...
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